Throughout everything that I have done, I have always had someone with me. I love being far away, separate from the people who I care about. But this is different. I am about to be purely isolated from all of the people who I have built relationships with or made friends with. I am going to have to start over from scratch.
My roommate/best friend doesn't like people very much. She can deal with groups for a few months, but then finds enough wrong with them to not like them anymore. Some of these people really are assholes. But she is leaving next year, and I need the friends that I have made in order to have a good support system in my life later. She has come to dislike literally all of the people that I want to be friends with.
I want a boyfriend again. Not the last one, but a guy who is actually committed to me and wants to be around me. I want someone to talk to other than Faith. Its not that I don't like talking to her, but there is so much that she cant understand because of her past and personality. I want to connect with someone, but I know that I wont find that someone here or soon. It's just my life, that I realize something about myself and what I want for myself, and it is just out of reach.
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